Currently Listening Master of Puppets By Metallica Welcome Home (Sanitarium) see related

Guys are Like Books and etc.

Hey again guys,

 So it appears my Xanga has been getting negelect, Facebook hogging all my time. Well, Xanga updates show up on facebook, so why not? Peek into my life some more. C’mon, You know you wanna. Can’t stop human nature.

 Nya, not much happening. I was bummed I couldn’t got the concert with Stacie and co., gawd. But it appears it’s a tradeoff with my folks, “dragonforce in Detroit, or local stuff?” Man, the deviousness of it. Oh yeah, FLOGGING MOLLY in 5 WEEKS. YES.

 But I squeezed in the play, which was stupendous. Everyone was great in there.

 I also squeezed in my article dissection this morning. HA HA HA I wonder what mr. Moore would think if he knew. HA HA, I laugh again. Ha.

 Hmm, recent events have also been making me think. I have a friend from preschool-years who goes to a Christian school but is Catholic, and confides to her mother that she has a hard time with being different. In that all her friends have boyfriends, is her difference warding guys off? She wonders. ‘Course her mom reassures her that being different is fine. They have a mid-winter dance like we at CC do, too.

 Made me wonder. My mom told my friend’s mom that I don’t have that problem, of being worried and all that. I mean, I guess a boyfriend is like…stumbling on an awesome book, eh? Hey, that’s cool. Let’s spiel about that:

 -*-Edit: The rest if very long, if you don’t have time to read, stop here. But come back another time! -*-

 “Don’t judge a book by its cover”

 Guys are similar to books in a way. Not in that you can select them, no They’re not like cds, which you pop in listen to a few tracks and then eject the disk for another. See, some people pick books for the pretty cover, but upon reading it can’t make it through and stop. Some give it a quick read, just to see what happens, and then put the book back on the shelf and forget about the story. Yes, cruel, isn’t it?

 Here is how I find books, and perhaps will reflect on how I find (or wish to find) a guy. Let’s see if it works. Well, I browse the shelves, and maybe the unique lettering, the title or cover (as always) catches my eye. You have to admit, anything attractive *will* catch your eye, no matter what. But it’s the fact that the eye *stays* on the object that is important. (I mean, give the book or guy a once-over with the eyes, shrug, and carry on browsing, right?) Well, once the book catches my eye I take it out and read the back or the little blurb, hinting at what’s inside. Is it intriguing? Worth my time to invest reading it? Enjoyable?

 In real life, this could be interpreted as seeing what a guy is made of, what he’s like. This can only happen during school, and it’s all I have to work with. How does he interact with others, (friends, opposite gender, teachers) how he *does* in school, etc. etc. Just scratches the surface, yah?

 Back to the books. So I am interested and want to read it. But here’s the problem. I *may* have selected the book of my own volition, but in real life: the book has to select me, too. Scary, huh? You’d think that me holding that book, it’d get to know me pretty well, huh?

 Reality Check: I just eye the book from a distance or a nearby shelf, hearing what others talk about the book or what people review it as. 4 stars? Intriguing? A thriller, edge-of-your-seat? Emotional, makes you cry?

 And that’s where the metaphor stops. How can you read a book if you don’t open it up? No, I don’t take that initiative in real life. How can you open up others when you can’t open yourself to them? Actually, I’m glad I’m pretty much myself at school. It took about halfway through high school to get that going. I’m pretty proud of myself. But that still hasn’t sparked anything, or at least, I don’t know whose hearts are sparked. ( ;P Unrequited love, man, it’s a killer, I know.)

 That’s when the self-questioning comes into play, which happened to my friend mentioned above ^. The questions begin with : Is there something wrong with me that no one likes me? Sadly for most of us, that’s where the road forks. Immediately. You can say yes or no, and that will govern your strategies the rest of the way.

 You say “yes”, like my friend up above ^ said. You say yes, and once you’ve accepted something’s wrong you go about and change it. You look out at others, you peer at the one the guys go for and try to imitate them, in big or small ways, in an attempt to garner the same success of finding a mate. See how it is? Survival. Conform to survive.

 But we don’t survive by offspring anymore, do we? In a way, yes, our DNA goes on. But that’s not the point. As we’ve learned in English class, we live on in how others remember us, ANYONE, including family and strangers. Family will *pass on* to others your good deeds and memories, strangers will remember you for being one of the few kind strangers they’ve met in the world. Maybe you’ve encouraged them that there’s still hope for the world.

 SO, that means we can logically say NO to the question. YES, people think something is wrong with us or else they would’ve asked you out, but NO, we are okay as we are, why do we have to accept what they think is “right”? I see that answering “YES” is submitting to what society or *whatever* male group’s standard of “right” is, of “beautiful”. Conform to the standard if that is who you are, but if you aren’t the standard, don’t let IT conform you. How horrible it is, to lose yourself to an attempt you don’t know will succeed. But that’s risk. It permeates all life.

 And this is how I “suffer” for saying NO. Sure, I be myself.

 I don’t really care about what I wear, as long as it’s “not like everyone else”, and it’s gotta be “cool”. (My mom buys my clothes, so I never go shopping. Go figure!)

 I don’t wear make-up. (I used to three years ago, just the eyeliner. It got really annoying in high school, I mean, I yawn and I freaking have to *wipe my eyes*!! Smear smear, oh geez, that’s a waste of eyeliner and two minutes.)

 I don’t talk when I don’t need to. (In other words, I don’t *start* the flirting, thus am not a “flirt”. It’d be extremely “not me” if I were to suddenly start babbling to a guy. Everyone knows I’m not like that. See how obvious it is when you conform to standards that aren’t you?)

 And there’s the problem, too. Talking. Yes, I have friends, and THEY. ARE. AWESOME. (You know who you are!) Yes, I call them friends. Yes, I have a guy friends. But up to the level of boyfriend? Eeehh, not too many. (None at all.)

 And that’s when I shrug and continue with my life. Sure, it’s nice to have someone to cuddle with, hold hands and stuff. But what about: Watch “Gladiator” or “The Professional” and cry with? Watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” and laugh your ass off? *Beat* your (or his) ass in Super Smash Bros.? Slaughter you on Diablo II? Headbang to pre-“load” (80’s)  Metallica (or, in my DREAMS) Rammstein?

 And I’m just talking about preferences. What about: Talk with you all the time? If you don’t get along sometimes, at least with the pre-established communication you can work it out. Considerate? Kind? Wants to further the relationship in earnest, and knows not to get too close or go too fast? Respects women?

 As you can see, finding a guy like that will be pretty awesome. But a little “out there”. So I don’t take it too seriously that my love life is flopping around in the water. Actually, it’s just floating in a tube, not much is happening. The irony is, there’s a beach to my left and a buoyed platform to my right, if *only* I would start moving my arms to either.

 But shyness is deadly, my friends. Kudos to all those who can be friendly and initiate intimacy as I can’t. (and won’t, :D) Congrats to those who are blessed with friendships that blossom into loving relationships, no matter how brief the flower. (Lucky ducks! At least you get experience.) Or have something in common with your love interest/goal. (Yeah, great tool to start conversations, aka relationships).

 But what else can I say about getting to know guys, I’ve never done it before. What do I know? All from observation, but the real data is in the relationship itself. Even *that’s* not solid. All those people who go through break-up after break-up, you’d think they’d be learning something, hmm?

 And now I laugh, because love is subjective, different for everybody. Why? ‘Cause everybody is different. There will never be an exact you. Not in the world. Not even a clone. Why? It’s the environment that makes you. And it’s what you make of the environment. Think about it. If Hitler was born in an Amish community, well, SURE, he’d be more prone to anger than usual, but in that environment he’d learn patience and forgiveness. Or not. Well, you know what I mean.

 Keep fighting. Stay strong. And gals who can’t seem to strike it rich, just CHILL. It’ll work out. If not…well, we live longer than guys, anyway, so more probability of being exposed to a good man. (yikes, so cold!)

 And now I will step down my soapbox, finished speaking to an invisible crowd. Thank you, my friends, for your time and support. Even those who I am pained to call “acquaintance”, have shown me much in words and deed.

I mean, dude, Hanh has glasses. She’s not blind. :o)

Fare thee well.

 “I'm a lot like you, so please, hello, I'm here, I'm waiting. I think I'd be good for you, and you'd be good for me.” - Weezer, El Scorcho

This Pic: Wimber - word the artist made up for that kind of lazy sad feeling.

Currently Listening Violet By The Birthday Massacre Horror Show see related

Dude,

Snowday yesterday. That was awesome. Me and Nguyen went and built snow forts, or rather snow barricades on opposite sides of the driveway. Back in the summer she and I played “The Crusades”, where she was King Frederick, or something, and I was Sala-hadin, the leader of the Arabians. So I dressed myself up with that rope-around-head-with-scarf-head-thingy-flowing-in-the-back stuff. It was great. People were driving by and staring at us crazy kids.

Well, this winter Nguyen was the Germans in WWI, and I wanted to be Russia…but we only had a flag of Turkey from the World Cup 8 years ago. So I was the Ottoman Empire. Whoo hoo

And now I am doing homework with my cat Bengal sticking her face into mine. Whaddya want, you weird cat??!! She’s cute, though. She’s trying to hug me. Huh.

Meh, Stacie and friends are leaving around now for the concert. Man, what’ll I miss….OH look, Bengal just settles down right in the nook of my arm as I’m typing. And kneading my abs. WHoo hoo, I’m gonna get stronger!!

OH my gosh, today this morning I had to drive us to Kung Fu in Grand Rapids. Dude, my dad was like, “You’re driving us” yesterday…That went well, actually. Phew. But the funny thing was that as I was heading over to Division, I glanced in my rearview mirror and one of the Wing Chun guys was in it! He and his wife both do Kung Fu and have this suuper cute baby kid. Anyways, the guy’s name is J.D. and they were both grinning, and I was like “ha ha!” I caught him like looking down a bit with a smile which made me laugh. Yeesh, talk about pressure.

Oh yeah, kung fu update. I’m almost done learning all that needs to be for the first level, the Yellow Sash. Of course there needs a test, so I’m gonna write up a list of all requirements and a synopsis of what I’ve learned. Since me, my dad, and my sis only go on Saturdays, progress is slow but we’re doing it! Dude, I wanna know how to do Chi Sau fluidly, man, like Bruce Lee.

Meh heh, I’m eating Puppy Chow my sis made at some Baking get-together with her 8^th grade buds. The funny thing is, I’m doing HW, too, so I hate getting my fingers dirty. And what have I done to remedy that? ha HA, chopsticks! It’s working out wonderfully….

I’ve been sneezing a lot, too. I was supposed to get allergy shots on Thursday, but they weren’t open. Oh well.

Stacie and I watched some of my favorite movies yesterday, “The Professional”, one about a hitman, and “My Name is Nobody”, a comedy spaghetti western. I love them so much I wanna put them in novels, so I was considering which one. I chose “My name is nobody” because “The professional” utilized camera shots for its effect a lot more than “nobody,”, and you can’t convey that in writing. SOOOoo, after a long debate, I choose the western. It’s funny, man, so funny. And so good. Very good. Although I almost cried in “The professional” when Leon tried to get Matilda down the air vent. So sad. And Leon’s awkwardness during the movie was soooo cute, I was like, “Ha ha.”

All right, time to go do more homework. I’ve wasted many hours, today, so I have to make up for that. Notes notes notes! AWW, and revising my research seminar plan. GAAAAWSH.

Okay, see ya’ll some udder time. Oh, and I’m gonna watch LOST if I have time. IT’s all in my haaaaaands!!!

Hanh

Currently Listening Dead Letters By The Rasmus F-F-F-Falling see related

Hey guys, it’s me again!

Okay, not much has happened….I’m kinda wavering between the dumps and normal, now, gotta keep it strong!!

Oh, the shekxiest man alive this year is George Clooney. He is so hawt. So hawt.

Today I got a little sick, so I couldn’t make it to piano lessons. Too bad. NOT. I have to perform this Friday at Hope College, Keyboard clubs. Meh heh.

Tomorrow’s the Writer’s Group meeting at Schulers! I’m gonna write some more on my One Piece adaptation. It’s SOO much better, I’ve figured out I have to write it like a fanfiction. Ha. So ironic.

George Clooney rocks. Joe Reed reminds me of George Clooney. They’re both funny and cute. Weird….maybe some reincarnation hokey stuff happening? That kid’s hilarious.

Pics!

Look at what he's doing....naughty !

Currently Listening Within a Mile of Home By Flogging Molly Queen Anne's Revenge see related

Hey guys,

It's been a busy month since the last update. Not to mention my dad's stupid internet filter FILTERED out this site. My site. *blows a raspberry* Que va!

Anyways, I had the TIME OF MY LIFe Saturday, it was UNBELIEVABLE. INDESCRIBABLE. and yet I will try to convey to you, to ALL of you, how AWEsome it was yesterday. At the Flogging Molly concert. At Michigan Tech. In the Upper Peninsula. 487 miles away. (around 500 for me, since I'm from Holland)

Xanga Wallpaper: LEft to Right-Dave King (lead vocals/acoustic guitar), Bob Schmidt (Banjo/Mandolin), Bridget Regan (Violin, Whistles, Flute), George Schwindt (Drums/Semi-manager), Dennis Casey (electric guitar), Matt Hensley (Accordion), Nathan Maxwell (Bass)

Line-up in the Video is exactly what’s on stage.

Nathan-Matt-Bridget-Dave in center-George behind dave- Bob- Dennis

What they do (singing together at one mike, the way they play) is also exactly like on stage. Live. So Nathan (bassist on the left left left!!) was doing EXACTLy that stuff in front of us! Like, 20 feet away!

Nathan has the hat with the all-around brim. Bowler hat-ish. When the video closes up on him, I just spaz uncontrollably!! (Read more to know why)

WATCH VIDEO!

-Went to eat pizza, then went to the concert. We wanted to be there at 5:00, got there around 7:00. Got *in* the place at 7:20-ish.

-We bought our T-shirts and stuff, then we went back in. We stood in the center-back of the General Admissions area. It wasn’t that crowded. Mrs. Baldwin told us the right edge had a better view, and it was. But I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to see Dennis.

-Mrs. Baldwin said Mr. Baldwin saw a band member with a HAT at the T-shirts. We rushed over, but he had left.

-We moved to the left edge, which was better. Speakers were there, but we could see EVERYONE’s spots on the stage lineup. And I was excited ‘cause Nathan (the bassist) was gonna be in front of us, and he’s funny live. He totally is into it. See the video, he’s wacky.

-Mrs. B told us the Hat guy was there again, so we scurried out, wondering who it was (Dennis, who wears a beret, or Nathan, with the bowler hat?)

-IT WAS NATHAN!

-His left side was facing us as he was sitting on a table, we freaked out (quietly) and waited in line. Not very long, just three s chatting with him. We introduced ourselves, and got him to sign our stuff. Xtine’s cd Swagger got signed, and my bag. He was like “I’ll draw you something.” It was a skull and crossbones!!! I LOVE YOU NATHAN. I think my Metallica sweatshirt prompted that. YES.

-What was funny was Xtine was like “I chose Swagger ‘cause it was lightest”. She meant color, he thought she meant weight, so he started laughing, saying “Oh, I never noticed that!” That made US laugh, so we told him it was color, and he laughed. HE is so HAWT and so NICE. He put his arm around me for a picture Xtine took! What a nice guy! (I think he may have had a few drinks before, too, ha ha)

-We told him we were standing at his part of the stage, left, but his right. And then he was like, “Stage right, Stage right is the place to be!”

-Their documentary indicated they do drink before concerts….especially Nathan. HA.

-We went back and spazzed, showing Mrs. B our stuff. Then the concert began

-Arabian chords filled the gym, and the white lights swung onto the Flogging Molly banner behind the stage.

-The band came out, the crowd went crazy. They picked up their instruments and immediately began playing “Another bag of Bricks”, which is a really MEAN song! Anyways, in this song or some other earlier song, Nathan stepped forward and did his thing with the bass, and he was looking for us! (Xtine and Me). He saw us, too! And so I raised my fist at him when he made eye contact.

-I was basically slightly head-banging with a grin on my face the WHOLE time.

-At one moment of the show Nathan pointed at Xtine and me, and we pointed back, grinning.

-Xtine says one time he pointed at her and then placed his hand over his heart. She did the same, shouting “I love you!” No fair, I missed that!!

-But I caught two prompts by Dave King (the singer), which I wish Xtine saw. Dave urged us to dance to “Devil’s Dance floor” and Nathan motioned for us to dance, and when Dave yelled at the people sitting far behind us “eating popcorn”, Nathan pointed at us accusingly. I was like “Huh?! What’d I do?” waving a hand in confusion. Then I grinned and yelled at him.

-Many times eye contact with Nathan made Xtine and me just get more pumped up. THANKS Nathan for making us feel so special!

-I wasn’t always looking over at him, most of the time I was screaming back lyrics to Dave, or the whole stage in general. There weren’t that many people, we were fortunate.

-Then Dave told the audience how Nathan just had a baby kid 6 weeks ago (Aw!), and I was firmly hoping Nathan was gonna sing HIS song on the album Within a Mile of Home. A split-second later he stepped up to the mike and they started playing “Queen Anne’s Revenge”!! I jumped into the air (one of the rare times my feet left the ground), ‘cause this was one of the songs I’d been waiting for.

-Nathan was totally into it, so I just got lost in it singing the refrain back. Perhaps he glanced at us and saw that, good for him!! (For you non-pirate fans, that’s Blackbeard’s ship)

-Dave played a song “For all you Catholics”, which was “Rebels of the Sacred Heart”. That’s such an Awesome song, and Xtine and I pumped our fists at the refrain every time!!

“No ball and chain or prison shall keep! We’re the rebels of the Sacred HearT!!!!”

-At “within a mile of home” Xtine was screaming loud, man! Her fav song! I was wondering when they were gonna play that. Good stuff.

-Then the band left the stage, and people were clapping and shouting “Ole, ole ole ole….ole, OOoole….” And repeating it. And clapping. After a few minutes Dave came back on and picked up his acoustic and played “Black Friday Rule”, which was awesome. But as Xtine puts it, it wasn’t meant to be played acoustically, so the other members walked back on stage and immediately starting thumping out the rest of “Black Friday Rule”. Nathan had his black denim jacket off.

-Then they played “Seven ly Sins”, which Xtine and I just JUMPED into the air and went beserk. That’s the video above. And then they ended with “What’s left of the Flag”, and that was AWESOME!

But that was just the concert. What made this special was what happened AFTER wards. It changed my life, and OUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

-So we filed out, and Mrs. Baldwin informed us Nathan was standing on the left side of the doors. So we bid our goodbyes to him, and Xtine got a hug from him! That was so awesome. I gave him a thumbs-up, and he said bye, with our names!

-Yeah, I had to go get my camera from the booth, and when we came back BOB was there! We got an autograph from him but didn’t really get to introduce ourselves. He was chatting with Mrs. Baldwin about ever playing in Grand Rapids.

-Then Xtine came up with a BRILLIANT idea to give our banner to Nathan! So we stood in line for that, but it wasn’t really line, more like a “waiting crowd”. It was funny, he was gonna autograph the back of one of the security girls, and was like “This is gonna be original!” He started drawing, and it was a peace sign next to an A in a circle: The Anarchist symbol! I didn’t really get that until someone pointed it out, and then we all laughed.

-We finally reached Nathan, and when Xtine said we had made something for the band, he motioned to a dude behind him leaving the room and said “Escort Xtine and Hanh to the dressing room.”

-I was like psyched, man! Xtine called it, too! Well, when we went inside, there was….drum roll….DENNIS CASEY, the guitarist! He was munching on a sandwich, and Xtine told him what we had made. We unfurled the banner, showing our clever words. One of their songs is “Within a Mile of Home”, and we wrote, with MARKERS, on TOWELS reinforced with DUCT TAPE, “Within 487 Miles of Home!!!”

-He was impressed and inquired where we came from, and we said Grand Rapids. And Dennis apologized for “talking with a mouthful of meat”, ‘cuz that was when he ate. Then he stuck his hand in his pocket and gave a guitar pick to Xtine and me!!!

-That was when I was in SHOCK, and I thanked him profusely, the grin splitting my face like an ax or something. Last thing I said to him was “Thanks!”, smiling so big I couldn’t see. The only reason I was surprised was….Well, we didn’t expect THAT!

-We went out and patted Nathan’s arm, saying bye. He said, “Bye Hanh, Bye Christine”. And there was a silence in the small group before they broke into laughter, probably at our apparent Familiarity. Well, three meetings, pictures, hugs, laughter? Yeah, we’re chums!!

-NATHAN IS SO NICE

ALL IN ALL:

It was all thanks to Nathan that made this concert so memorable. He is SUCH a guy. And I now have a Flogging Molly Artifacts spot on my dresser, yay!

The t-shirts are awesome, too. Dude, meeting 4 out of 7 members is more than half! I remember after meeting Nathan, Bob, and George, about how meeting just one more would be it. And then we met Dennis! YES.

I need a Flogging Molly poster. And I’m going to buy all their CDs, the real stuff. Good stuff, man.

I have to cram 10 articles in for Research seminar. And do my math. And English notes. And Love assignment. Wish me luck while I wear out “Within a Mile of Home”! And enjoy the video!

“SAIL AWAY where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin' waves
TOGETHER undivided but forever we'll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
We're SEVEN drunken pirates
We're the seven deadly sins!!”

Cheers!

Hanh

 PS. I LOVE NATHAN MAXWELL!